First things first: Sex means different things to divergent people
Sex can be the eventual expression of romantic love and intimacy or an emotional roller coaster or a stress reliever or it’s all about conception or it’s simply a good time. It can be all of these things and further. Sex means divergent things to divergent people. And whatever it means to you isn’t important constant, either.
It can mean different things at different points in your existence or even from one day to the next and this is totally normal.
Despite the stereotypes, your gender has nothing to do with your emotional response to sex
Women are at the grace of their roller-coaster emotions; men are powerfully in the handle of the few emotions they have. At least that’s what popular wisdom would’ve once had us believe.
These ideas have deep tuber, but humans are much more compound than that. There have been some studies trusted root to recommend that women are more expressive about their feelings, at least in the United States and some Western European countries.
They also recommend men have the same or greater physiological reacts to emotional stressors. These days, people are less disposed to conform to simple gender categorizations. Whatever your gender and whether you openly convey it or not, your emotional reacts to sex is uniquely yours.
Some people require emotional attraction to experience physical attraction
Do you need to feel some quantity of emotional attraction before any thought of sex invades your mind? If that sounds like you, you’re surely not alone. Maybe you need to link on a spiritual level. Maybe it’s their mind or the truth that you share some basic philosophies of life. Possibly you felt that first twinge of excitement when they made you laugh ’til you cried.
You’re seeking closeness. Once your feelings are in the area and you’ve made an emotional bond, you may start to feel physical arousal. Outside of that area, you’re just not into sex. You’re into making love.
Others find that acting on physical attraction can lead to emotional attraction
Some people are physically worn together like magnets. There’s a chemical reaction, a hunger, a purely physical craving for getting physical with another human. It’s desire. When the chemistry between people is just correct, getting fleshly can grow into so much more.
A 2012 retrospective review got two areas of the brain that track the progression from the sexual wish to love. One is inflexible. It’s detected in the cerebral cortex.
This is another striatum. It’s detected inside the forebrain. Interestingly, the striatum is also linked with drug addiction. Love and sexual wish activate different parts of the striatum. Sex and food are between the pleasurable things that activate the desired part. The process of the situation — of reward and value — activates the love part.
As feelings of desire start to turn into love, another area of the striatum takes over.
Others may find that emotional and physical attraction work in two entirely different vacuums
People are complex creatures with many layers. For some of us, there is a clear dividing bar between emotional attraction and physical attraction. They don’t need to come together.
You might be affectionate attracted to someone without having the slightest sexual desire. Or you have a mind-blowing physical allure for someone who doesn’t really do it for you emotionally.
Even in long-time relationships, people can alternate between making love and having sex or forgoing sexual activity solely and that’s fine.
Regardless of your individual outlook, sex and emotion affect the same pathways in the brain
A 2018 study recommends an integral connection between sexual, emotional, and generative brain processes having to do with the endocrine system and, in particular, a hormone called kisspeptin.
As reported to a Tufts University neuroscience blog, sexual arousal doesn’t occur in a vacuum, but in a context. It includes cognitive, physiological, and neurological processes, all of which involve and are clout by emotion.
What’s more, most people experience similar emotions during sexual activity and release
The rush of hormones includes in sex means that hold feelings are fairly common during or immediately following sex. Nobody feels every emotion every time, of course.
Among the more positive ones are:
- Total release
- Relaxation and calm
Based on the circumstances, you might have some less than positive emotions, such as:
- Feeling physically or emotionally overwhelmed
If you have postcoital dysphoria, you might even feel sad, anxious, or tearful just after sex.
It’s also worth noting that sexual arousal can turn off parts of the prefrontal cortex
We don’t always accept it when it’s occurring to us, but it’s clear in hindsight. It’s not the material of science fiction or fantasy. It’s very actual. Sexual arousal can deactivate parts of the brain that help you think reproving and behave like a rational human being. Yes, you actually take leave of your feelings.
When you snap back to actuality, you might wonder, with a tint of regret or embarrassment, what you were sensible.